Let’s Tackle This Together

During a 60-minute Zoom session, we’ll work through the challenges you’re facing with your BPD/NPD parent, create a clear plan forward, and help you feel more grounded and confident.

You’ve got this, and I’ve got your back.

Coaching

For the Adult Children of Parents Who Have Borderline and/or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

- with Psychotherapist and Coach, Torie Wiksell -

Let’s face it- parents with borderline and narcissistic
personality disorders
make life really stressful.

People with these personality disorders are so consumed by their own internal world, they don’t have space to consider the experiences and needs of their children. Which is pretty shitty if you happen to be the adult child of a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder.

The reality is- your parent is unlikely to be the catalyst for healthy change in your relationship with them, which means it’s up to you to decide if you want to keep moving along with the status quo, or if you’re ready to change it.

setting boundaries with a toxic parent

Hi There! I’m Coach and Psychotherapist,

Torie Wiksell

In my psychotherapy private practice, I specialize in working with the adult children of emotionally immature parents- specifically parents with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). My passion for this work isn’t only professional, it’s personal, too.

I know how chaotic and stressful it is to grow up with a BPD or NPD parent because I grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder. The phrase, walking on eggshells, definitely fits, but doesn’t fully explain the intensely complicated and confusing dynamics.

Growing up in a family like this probably made you feel crazy at times- I know I certainly did.

I’ve spent a huge part of my 11-year career as a therapist working with clients with personality disorders. And, I’ve spent the past few years working extensively with adults who have parents with BPD and NPD. It’s a really unique skill set and one I’m incredibly passionate about.

I’ve survived a dysfunctional family system, I’ve walked through my own healing in many years of therapy (which I still do- this is not an anti-therapy website!), I’ve studied and learned and trained in this area, and I’ve committed to a career of helping people just like you and me navigate this complicated relationship.

I can’t wait to help you on this journey!

setting boundaries with parents

What’s the difference between therapy and coaching?

Actually, a lot!

Therapy looks at the big picture of your life and addresses all areas: your mental health and well-being, your relationships, trauma, etc. Coaching on the other hand is very goal-focused and does not include working on things like clinical depression and anxiety, but rather is targeting how to cope with a specific issue like setting boundaries or going no-contact with a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder.

Coaching is a completely unregulated field, which is why it’s super important to work with therapist-coaches who not only have the training and experience to understand the differences between therapy and coaching, but who can also recognize when to refer you to a therapist. Without this knowledge, a well-intentioned coach can end up encouraging you to do something that actually makes your life harder and negatively impacts you mental health.

Many people (including some therapists!) do not have training and experience to understand how to support the adult children of parents with BPD and NPD.

And, this really matters because the way to set boundaries with someone with BPD or NPD looks extremely different than how you would set boundaries with someone without these disorders. There are things that must be taking into consideration, such as emotional and physical safety concerns, what the consequences of setting boundaries may be, and how to cope with those consequences.

Additionally, discouraging someone from setting a boundary or ending a relationship with someone who has repeatedly abused them is bordering on gaslighting in my opinion. You’re not crazy, and it’s completely reasonable to want to put an end to the chaos. Whether that’s through boundaries or through going no-contact is completely your call. I’m just here to help.

Coaching

  • Short-term (usually lasts a few weeks to a few months)

  • Focused on one specific problem area (like dealing with BPD or NPD parents)

  • Is very present and future focused

  • Is best for clients who are ready to take action but need support and guidance in order to do so

  • Coach provides validation, valuable information and feedback, and assists with problem-solving and strategizing

  • No diagnosing or treatment of mental health issues (Coach should refer out if client is in need of therapy)

For Adult Children of Parents with BPD and NPD

Therapy

  • Long-term (usually lasts several months to several years)

  • Focused on the whole person and all areas of their life

  • Has a strong emphasis on past, present, and future

  • Is great for all clients regardless of how ready they are in this moment to take action and make changes

  • Therapist provides validation, teaches important skills, assists in processing trauma, and much more

  • Thorough assessment and treatment of mental health issues is provided. Diagnosis may or may not be assigned.

For Adult Children of Parents with BPD and NPD

Let’s work together.

Interested in working together? Fill out the form below, and I’ll follow up via email in 1-2 business days. I look forward to chatting!

Coaching services are not appropriate for anyone who has a diagnosis of BPD or NPD or anyone who is experiencing a serious mental health crisis.

 FAQs

  • My coaching services are designed for adults who are struggling with a parent who has either borderline or narcissistic personality disorder.

    Clients who are a great fit for coaching are ones who are looking to discuss their current dynamics with someone who can provide both professional and personal feedback (that’s me!).

    If you’re sick of the toxic cycle you’re in and want support setting boundaries or going no-contact, coaching may be a great fit for you. Coaching with me is best suited for adults who are actively ready to start making changes or have already made changes and are looking to talk through them.

  • That completely depends on your goals! Coaching, unlike therapy, is designed to be short-term.

    We might meet once to answer a few specific questions you have, we might meet for a few weeks to talk through a few things you’re struggling with, or we might meet for a few months to work on implementing boundaries and an action plan.

  • Each coaching session is 60-minutes long.

  • I’m going to give you the honest answer I tell everyone- maybe you shouldn’t. Look, I’m not a salesperson, and I have no interest in trying to convince anyone that I’m the only person in the world that can help them solve their problems.

    I’m direct, I’m pretty upbeat, and I can’t possibly be everyone’s cup of tea. But, I do bring a lot of experience to the table here- both professional and personal. I have 11 years of experience as a psychotherapist, many of which involved working with clients with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders as well as their partners and family members.

    And, I’ve been specializing in working specifically with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders in my private practice for the past several years. Plus, I grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder, so when I say I get it- I really, really do.

  • When you are committing to coaching, you’re committing to being active in the process of change.

    Coaching sessions are priced reflective of the time, energy, and experience I am bringing into it, as well as the commitment I’m making to help you achieve your goals.

    That means, I promise to give you honest feedback, help you adjust your goals or timeline in order to set realistic expectations, and will do everything on my end to make sure our sessions are as productive as possible.

    Coaching is a financial investment, and one that I absolutely stand behind. Show up for yourself, do the work, and believe in the process. I won’t issue refunds, however I will do everything I can on my end to help you get the outcome you want as long as you meet me halfway.

    I’m fully rooting for you!