How to Set Boundaries:
A Roadmap
My online course with a step-by-step plan for effectively setting boundaries with a parent who has borderline and/or narcissistic personality disorder.
I’ve taken the proven skills and strategies I’ve successfully taught my therapy and coaching clients…
And turned them into a step-by-step plan that you can start implementing right now.
When you grow up with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder…
You don’t learn how to set boundaries with anyone, especially not your BPD/NPD parent. Instead, you learn how to prioritize everyone else’s needs above your own.
I know trying to change this dynamic probably feels exhausting. But let’s be real—the road you’re on right now is already pretty draining, and it’s only going to get more stressful the longer you keep going.
Look, I’m not going to lie to you- setting boundaries does take effort. But with time and practice, it gets so much easier. Not setting them? I’m not psychic, but I’m pretty confident that your life is going to keep getting harder.
I know your BPD/NPD parent never taught you how to set boundaries.
That would’ve required them to…
Encourage you to make decisions that prioritize your well-being over their own,
Recognize you as your own person, separate from them,
And take responsibility for managing their own disappointments instead of blaming them on you.
Instead, your parent was focused on what benefits them.
And, your lack of healthy boundaries benefits them a lot.
Here’s the harsh truth:
Your parent has learned that if they have an outburst, guilt-trip you, or pushback in another way, you’ll give in and do what they want.
Yes, it’s dysfunctional. But, it’s also been pretty effective. At least it has been until now.
I know that you’ve already…
Tried to set boundaries and it didn’t work.
Given up hope that things can get better.
Used up all the energy you have.
Convinced yourself it’s easier this way.
Your parent has done a good job of convincing you these things are true when they actually aren’t.
Sure, what you’re doing right now is exhausting. And, yes, doing something different takes energy and effort. But, when you set healthy boundaries and do it over and over again it gets easier and so does your life.
Boundaries with parents who have borderline and narcissistic personality disorders do work if you know what you’re doing.
That’s where I come in- to show you what is actually effective, so you can put your limited energy towards the things that are going to make your boundaries much more likely to succeed.
Let me introduce you to
THE BOUNDARIES ROADMAP
Inside this online course we’ll cover...
What you need to know about parents who have borderline and/or narcissistic personality disorders
You and I both know setting boundaries with a BPD or NPD parent is not the same as setting boundaries with a parent who does not have a personality disorder. But, we’re going to go deeper and talk about the specific aspects of these disorders that make it especially challenging to set boundaries with a BPD/NPD parent.
Communication strategies that actually work with parents who have BPD and NPD
Yes, they exist, and yes, I will teach you them.
How to prepare yourself so you actually feel confident setting your boundary
It’s going to be stressful, but life is pretty stressful now too, right? You can do this, but you need to really prepare yourself. I will walk you through how to get ready so you can actually feel confident when it’s go time.
Enforcing your boundaries when your parent (almost certainly) pushes back
If they don’t, great! But, chances are they will. Don’t freak out- I’ll help you get ready to handle it!
Plus, you’ll get these bonuses…
The Circle Worksheet
In this bonus worksheet, I’ll guide you through getting crystal clear on why making this change is so important to you. This worksheet will help you stay motivated to keep moving forward even when it feels hard!
My Secret Tip for Getting Your Parent to Respect Your Boundaries
I’ll teach you my secret strategy for motivating a parent who has borderline and/or narcissistic personality disorder to comply with your boundaries!
10 Boundary Scripts
I included 10 Scripts of common boundaries that need to be set with parents who have borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. No more guessing what to say!
Then, you just rinse & repeat.
Setting boundaries isn’t rocket science- even with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. But, it does take the knowledge and understanding of what works (and what doesn’t).
This roadmap can be used time and time again to set boundaries with truly anyone. Because, if you can set boundaries with a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, I promise you, you are absolutely capable of setting boundaries with anyone in your life!
It’s not magic.
You just need to learn what works when setting boundaries with a borderline or narcissistic parent
Want to sneak a peak inside of the course?
Meet Coach and Psychotherapist,
Torie Wiksell
In both my psychotherapy private practice and coaching business, I specialize in working with the adult children of parents who have borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). I’ve spent a huge part of my 11-year career as a therapist working with clients with personality disorders. And, I’ve spent the past few years working specifically with adults who have parents with BPD and NPD. It’s a really unique skill set and one I’m incredibly passionate about.
I know how chaotic and stressful it is to grow up with a BPD or NPD parent because I grew up with a mother who had unmanaged borderline personality disorder and a lot of narcissistic traits. The phrase, walking on eggshells, definitely fits, but doesn’t fully explain the intensely complicated, stressful, and confusing dynamics. Growing up in a family like this probably made you feel crazy at times- I know I certainly did!
I’ve survived a dysfunctional family system, I’ve walked through my own healing in many years of therapy (which I still do- this is not an anti-therapy website!), I’ve studied and learned and trained in this area, and I’ve committed to a career of helping people just like you navigate this complicated relationship.
I can’t wait to help you set the boundaries you want and thrive!
✺ Frequently asked questions ✺
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In all honesty- probably! You need a clear plan for setting boundaries when your dealing with a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. And, my guess is, if you were already super clear on what that plan looked like and felt confident executing it, you wouldn't be reading this right now.
This course is designed to help provide you with the structure and confidence you need to effectively set boundaries with a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder.
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You'll have access to the course forever (well as long as it is in existence on the internet!)
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If you have a parent with borderline and/or narcissistic personality disorder and are thinking about setting boundaries with them- this course is for you!
This course is great whether you're just thinking about setting boundaries, have tried to set boundaries in the past with little success, or are ready to set boundaries right now.
You need to know what successful boundary setting with a BPD/NPD parent actually looks like before you can feel confident doing it. This course will walk you through that!
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This course is not therapy, nor is it a substitute for therapy. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, this course is not for you. Instead, please contact a licensed therapist near you or seek support through the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing or texting: 988. This course is also not appropriate for anyone who is diagnosed with a personality disorder.
This course is also not sufficient to address concerns around safety (yours or your parent's). If you are concerned about your parent becoming violent or potentially harming themself in response to you setting a boundary, please contact a licensed therapist near you or reach out to me for coaching. I help my coaching clients develop plans to appropriately address their safety concerns.
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As long as you need! This is a self-guided course that you can go through at your own pace.
You should be able to get through it in a weekend if you’re in a rush! Or, you can take your time and go through it at a much slower pace. Do what works for you!
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Yes! While this course is designed to support you with setting boundaries with a parent who has borderline and/or narcissistic personality disorder, the steps inside can also be extremely helpful when implementing boundaries with other people in your life.
And, in all honesty, if you learn how to implement boundaries with a parent with BPD or NPD, you can learn how to implement boundaries with anyone :)
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I truly believe in this course and have taught so many people like you to set boundaries with their BPD and NPD parents.
But, if you go through the entire course, complete the workbook, and implement the skills, and still feel like the roadmap isn’t working for you- send me an email at torie@confidentboundaries.com and I’ll refund the price of the course. That’s how much I believe in this!
Also, you can check out a sneak peak of the course here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/the-boundaries-roadmap-course-home/what-to-expect
Please do not hesitate to reach out with any questions at torie@confidentboundaries.com. I'm more than happy to help you decide if this course is right for you by answering any additional questions you have!
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Feel free to email me at torie@confidentboundaries.com with any questions you have. I’ll do my best to answer them and help you decide if this course is right for you!
What People Have To Say About Torie...
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Someone who finally GETS IT!!! Torie gets it. I finally feel seen/heard/validated and then appropriately guided going through life with a parent who can frequently be quite a struggle to deal with. I’m SO excited to learn more from her as she continues to creat episodes. 🫶🏻
Apple Podcast Review
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Finally feeling not crazy! Love this podcast and Torie is so easy to listen to. “As a parent it’s always about your child” YES YES YES.
Apple Podcast Review
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Real talk on family drama. Torie’s podcast is must-listen for anyone dealing with tricky family dynamics. Torie brings a relatable and down-to-earth perspective, borne from her personal experience growing up with a mother struggling with unmanaged BPD. Her insights make navigating complicated relationships feel a bit more manageable, and her empathy shines through in every episode.
Apple Podcast Review