How to Find a Therapist Who Actually Gets It

Finding the right therapist is so important, especially when you’re dealing with the complex family dynamics involving borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. In this episode of "You're Not Crazy," Torie Wiksell, a seasoned therapist and coach, delves deep into the challenges of seeking appropriate mental health support while navigating toxic family relationships. Torie's personal experiences with both incredible and inadequate therapists offer invaluable insights into what to look for—and avoid—when choosing a therapist.

When dealing with a parent who has a personality disorder, the advice to maintain family ties can often feel misguided and harmful.

Traditional beliefs in the mental health community sometimes prioritize preserving family relationships over the well-being of the individual. Torie challenges this notion by sharing her own experiences with therapists who insisted on maintaining contact with toxic family members, regardless of the trauma involved. This episode sheds light on the importance of finding a therapist who supports the client's autonomy and individual healing process.

A key takeaway from this episode is the importance of thoroughly vetting potential therapists. Torie emphasizes the need to ask specific questions during initial consultations, such as the therapist's stance on going no contact with abusive family members.

It's crucial to find a therapist who respects and supports your decision-making process, rather than imposing blanket advice that may not be suitable for your unique situation. This approach ensures that therapy is a supportive space where your experiences are validated and your mental health is prioritized.

Another important aspect discussed is the need for therapists to have a deep understanding of personality disorders. Working with clients who have family members with BPD or NPD requires specialized knowledge and skills. Torie advises listeners to inquire about the therapist's experience and expertise in dealing with personality disorders. This ensures that the therapist is equipped to handle the complexities and nuances of these relationships, providing effective support and guidance.

Throughout the episode, Torie shares personal anecdotes that illustrate the challenges of finding the right therapist. She recounts a particularly frustrating experience with a highly qualified therapist who, despite an impressive resume, was not a good fit. This therapist insisted on maintaining family ties despite the abusive dynamics, highlighting the importance of finding a therapist who aligns with your values and needs. Torie's story serves as a reminder that a therapist's qualifications on paper do not always translate to effective and empathetic support.

Empowerment is a central theme of this episode. Torie encourages listeners to take control of their mental health journey by seeking therapists who genuinely understand and support their unique challenges. She emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and making decisions that prioritize your well-being, even if it means breaking away from traditional advice.

This episode aims to validate the experiences of those dealing with toxic family dynamics and provide practical guidance for finding the right therapeutic support.

In summary, this episode of "You're Not Crazy" offers a candid and insightful look into the complexities of finding the right therapist when dealing with toxic family dynamics. Torie Wiksell's personal journey and professional expertise provide listeners with valuable lessons on what to look for in a therapist and the importance of prioritizing their mental well-being. By challenging outdated beliefs and advocating for individualized support, this episode empowers listeners to take charge of their mental health journey and seek the help they deserve.

If you're dealing with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, or if you're struggling to find the right therapist, this episode is a must-listen. Torie's experiences and advice will resonate with anyone facing similar challenges, offering hope and guidance on the path to mental health and well-being.