I Started a Podcast!
I’m super excited to share what I’ve been working on…a new podcast! You’re Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders is currently available on Spotify and Amazon Music and will be available on Apple Podcasts soon.
It probably comes as no surprise to you that I like to talk! And, what better way to share my thoughts then a podcast that let’s me share my thoughts and opinions with everyone and anyone who’s ready to listen.
You can listen to the trailer and first two episodes right now, and new episodes will launch every Tuesday. Make sure to subscribe, so you don’t miss an episode, and I’d be so appreciative if you took a second to leave me a review.
Here’s a little bit of what you can expect from Episode One, I Don’t Believe Parents Who Are “Completely Blindsided” When Their Child Goes No-Contact…
Family estrangement, particularly when adult children go no-contact with their parents, often leaves parents claiming to feel completely blindsided. In the latest episode of "You're Not Crazy," host Torie Wiksell, a seasoned therapist and coach, delves into the intricate dynamics that contribute to these family breakups. This episode is inspired by Ellen Barry's recent New York Times article and explores why parents claim they had no inkling that such a drastic step was forthcoming.
One of the most critical aspects discussed in the episode is the importance of parental accountability. Torie challenges the victim narrative that some parents adopt, arguing that it is essential for parents to reflect on their contributions to their child's distress. Many adult children exhaust all possible avenues to maintain a healthy relationship before resorting to no contact. This includes going to therapy, setting boundaries, and trying to communicate their needs effectively. However, when these efforts fall on deaf ears or are met with blatant refusal from the parents, the children often find themselves with no other viable option but to cut ties.
Social media also plays a significant role in reinforcing unhealthy viewpoints among estranged parents. Platforms allow individuals to connect with others who share similar experiences and beliefs, creating echo chambers where alternative perspectives are rarely introduced. This can lead to a reinforcement of the belief that the parents are the victims, further complicating the situation and making self-reflection even more challenging.
Torie Wiksell's professional insights and personal experiences provide a comprehensive understanding of why emotionally stable, healthy adults might decide to go no-contact. She emphasizes that it is rarely a decision made lightly or without considerable effort to salvage the relationship. Instead, it is often a last resort after years of trying to create a non-abusive dynamic with their parents.
The episode also addresses Torie’s skepticism surrounding parents who claim they were completely caught off guard by their child's decision. Wiksell argues that if a parent truly has no idea why their child would take such a drastic step, it is likely reflective of their inability to take accountability for their actions. This lack of self-awareness and refusal to engage in self-reflection is often a significant factor in why the relationship deteriorates to the point of no contact.
Furthermore, the episode explores the concept of "cycle breakers," individuals who recognize the dysfunctional patterns within their families and take active steps to break these cycles. These are the people who wake up and say, "This is not how I want to live my life; this is toxic and dysfunctional." They strive to be happy and healthy individuals, even if it means cutting ties with their parents.
Torie Wiksell also touches upon the role of therapists in these situations. Some parents believe that their child's therapist has convinced them to go no contact, but Wiksell refutes this idea. She explains that a good therapist will encourage their clients to set healthy boundaries and work on their issues, not push them to sever relationships without cause.
In conclusion, this episode of "You're Not Crazy" offers a nuanced and in-depth look at family estrangement. It challenges the common narratives and emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and accountability. If you are an adult child who has gone no contact or someone interested in understanding the complexities of family dynamics, this episode provides valuable insights and perspectives that are sure to be enlightening.
